Thoughts of the Day :)

Have you ever think how easily we vent our anger to the people we love the most? Meanwhile, we need to think a hundred times before finally outburst our anger to someone else.

It took maybe dozens of quarrel to make me realize the answer of that question. I thought we just have a great confidence, that those we love, will always love us without any condition. Moreover, you will think that every mistreatment you do, all you have to do is tell them you are sorry and apologize. And as usual, they will forgive you because tons of love they have for you.  

It is, indeed, certainly not a proper thing to be a habit. Surely there will be a time when they finally feel very tired of our demeanor; they will reach the end of their rope. There will be a time when they felt that that was the last time you were forgiven. Somehow they will eventually leave you, it might be the consequence of your bad behavior, or they just want to keep their own hearts from being hurt. In fact, the worst thing that could happen is when you are too late to apologize; they had already gone, intentionally, yet for good.

There was a story about a student and teacher who was love him a lot. Every mistake he did was always forgiven. He was very cocky, because he thought he could do anything he wanted. If any mistakes has been made, all he need to do was went to his teacher and asked for apologize. With the abundant love for his student, the teacher always forgave him and defended him in front of the other teachers. Until one day, he was playing with a candle in the library up to felt a sleep. However, when he awoke the entire library and the school was burned. He was very scared, he wanted to meet his teacher to have a shelter and apologize. Unfortunately, it has all came too late. He could no longer ask for apologize from his teacher, because his teacher was burned along with the school and library.

Consequently, before everything change into regret, remind yourself to cherish those people you care the most. If you want to be understood, you need to understand them first. If you don’t want to get hurt, then don’t hurt them. Simple rule. In fact, you should realize that they just human being, just like you. They might have fragile heart, and state of patience. And the last, the substantial thing here is we are all—evens those with nerves of steel—have our own time. Either to forgive or to apologize.

*Little note for my self.

Twenty Thirteen

It's been about 5 or 6 months ago since I posted the last post! I have graduate already (thank God), and I have also been working ever since. A lot of things happened on those 5 months. I miss writing report assignment, I miss my campus suit: tee-jeans-sneaker-backpack, I miss being sleepy in the middle of the class, and that tiny little anxious feeling when the final result was announced is the thing that I miss the most.

A couple of minute ago, before I decided to write one or two paragraph on this post, I saw a post on facebook that said "writing is sharing, sharing is healing". It such a wake up call for me. Something is missing in my heart. Everything's changing. I've been working, I've been living in Jakarta. I left my dearest city. There's a lot of things that I wanted to write, to share, to heal. So, I though my first resolution for this year is start to write again!!

Well, I think I will see you soon.. :)

10 pm.

10 pm and the light’s still shining her room. I can only see her silhouette behind that thin blue curtain. If only there is no curtain covering her window, maybe this longing will be vanish for a while just by seeing her beautiful face.

I only love two women in my life. My mother. And her. And both of them are already leaved me. My mother died when I was 15. And she left me 3 years ago. My mom always said that women were created to be loved and protected. 

“Women were not made by men’s feet, because they weren't made to be stepped upon, and women were not made by men’s head, because they weren't made to top them, but women were made by men’s rib, close to hand to be protected and close to heart to be loved.” That what’s she taught me since I was 7 years old. And that was exactly what I treated women like.

Things were not change too much when she came to my world. But my world became so much different when she left. Just like the old says, we never know what we've got ‘til it’s gone. No, I knew exactly what I had, but I just thought I'll never lose her. I will never know the reason why she is leaving.  It wasn't for another man.  Not for another perfect person.  It just because herself. Maybe there’s something that she hid from me.

My heart breaks each time I remember her. My heart breaks each time I saw an empty seat beside in my car. My heart breaks each time I heard her favorite song. My heart breaks each time I watch her favorite commercial break. My heart breaks each time I drive along the city. My heart breaks each time I realize that she doesn’t belong to me anymore.

Pieces of my heart is just too small to be called piece. Nobody could fix it. And I won’t let anybody touch it. I don’t need my heart if I’m not with her. 

Seems like every corner keeps her memory. The way she laugh, the way she bite her lower lip, the way she huddled up my waist, the way she drank her lemon tea, the way she hold my hand, the way she tried to cracked me up, the way she spoke when I called her in the middle of the night, the way she stamped the ground every time she got mad. The way she turned her face when the tears flow out that day. 

Now I’m sitting here. Behind this steering wheel. Hiding my black car in the shadow of the tree. Watching her window. Hoping she will open up the curtain and showing her beautiful smile. Just hoping. 

1.15 am. Finally, the light is turned off. 

Sleep tight my little princess, you don’t have to dream tonight. I wish I was there giving you a goodnight kiss.

Bip...bip....

Bip...bip...

“Yes...”

“Where are you my party animal? This party won’t start without you here.”

“Hold on. I’ll be there in a second”

“Okay dear... Can’t wait to spend this whole night with you. See you soon!”

Click.

I only love two women in my life. My mother. And her.

by Carry, written about 3 years ago

CATIA Project(s)

I-am-so-in-love-with CATIA. Since the day I heard his name, maybe 5 years ago, he become the apple of my eye (lebaayyyy..), hehehe... Drawing with him never make me stress or depressed, on the contrary it kinda addictive. However, I never feel fully satisfied with what I have drawn. It seems like I enjoy and felt proud of what I've drawn at the time I finished it. But one week after it, I looked back the file (I want to say picture but I think it's not the right word for CATIA) I just felt embarrassed, thinking why didn't I give a better effort to make it much more beautiful??

Well mostly the reason was because I was running out of time. The file I made almost all are class assignment. And I promised my self to fixed it, or improved, or repaired it, or completed it. And yes, I haven't done it until now.. I'm sorry CATIA, I never mean to let you down.. :(  Ok, here are some of my CATIA picture, not that good, I know there's a lot of people that could draw much much much better than me. But yeeaaahh.. it's not that bad either :) Enjoy then..

1. Space Shuttle Atlantis OV-104

Major assignment of Programming and CAD class at 3rd year of undergraduate. This was team project, I was working with two other friends, Sisi and Ijal. It also has the simulation of fuel tank separation. Simple but it was really exhausting! Thanks Guys, great job!! Well at least we could proof our job to they who were not believe that we could do that..

2. MiLK 123 Full Cream - Multi-Role Fighter Aircraft

Aircraft design class, at 4th year of undergraduate. I was the chief of configuration design. That was a very tough period to finish this subject. And after all that bloody fistfight discussion--about the size, shape, uniqueness, utilities, performance, and so on--with other team member, here it is! Our aircraft!! We didn't actually do the fist-fighting, ya I know you know it, and it is unnecessary to write this sentence, well okay I'll stop. Then!! Since I was the chief of configuration design, it was my job to drew it. It's a pleasure off course!! Yeeaayy...!!

 


3. 2020's Sport Car
Also major assignment, Configuration Design subject, at my graduate class last semester. I was designing future sport car. I was inspired by some concept car, off course. They were Lamborghini Ankonian and Aventador, Ferrari EGO, Porche 918 Spider Hybrid, Jaguar C-X7 and many more. I would like to explain about my designed car in this post, but I think it'll make this post become to long. You know, I write the report in more than 30 pages. And now I just feel lazy to make a resume about it. Hehehe.. Well I hope you can enjoy the picture without any specification data. Kiss kiss.. :* :*

That's all I think for today. I still have some Catia projects, but since this post already too long I'll upload it next time. You know what I mean with "next time" don't you?? It means that when I don't feel too lazy nor too not-lazy (I couldn't fine the appropriate opposite word of lazy, but I also don't want to use diligent). See youuu !!!

My 36 Credits

       This semester is almost over, and my thesis progress not even close to 50%. Well actually, the last two months I have decided to postpone my thesis defense until August. So I will attend my graduation ceremony on October this year. Hard, tough, stressful, desperate-able semester...
       And.... here are the list of all subjects I've taken. Total credits of grad-class is 36 and 12 of them is mandatory course that should be taken. While the rest 24 credits can be freely chosen. And mine are...


Mandatory course:
1. Advanced Mathematics I (3 credits)
2. Research Methodology (3 credits)
3. Thesis/Research Project (6 credits)
The rest 24 credits of optional course:
4. Aircraft Operations (3 credits)
5. Product Development Management (3 credits)
6. Human Factor in Engineering (3 credits)
7. Aircraft Configuration Design (3 credits)
8. Special Topics in Aircraft Maintenance and Operation (3 credits)
9. Flight Test Techniques (3 credits)
10. Airworthiness and Certification (3 credits)
11. System Safety Engineering (3 credits)

Conference… Oh conference…

Alhamdulillah, in the last 3 months I’ve been able to experience what’s so called the Conference. Both are international conference held in Surabaya, Indonesia and Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. Here is the long piece of the story. 


My very first conference experience is in Surabaya, organized by Information System Department of ITS (Insitut Teknologi Sepuluh November) the ISICO—Information System International Conference. The participants came from various regions in Indonesia, South Korea and Taiwan. It held on December 3^rd-5^th at Empire Palace Hotel Surabaya. So, you must be wondering what did aerospace engineering student do in information system conference?? Yes, they also offer computer science topic and my final project is also about it (Genetic Algorithm as the method I used). As I told you before, this was my first conference and I was ALONE! Without my adviser and there is no other ITB student. One of my senior (Pram) said that that conference should be my public presentation rehearsal before I present my work in front of the real International professionals.

Opening Speech

Shorten story (maybe I’ll tell you the complete story in another posts), the conference went as well as it should be. I met many people from different regions with different customs. The most unforgettable experience is when I met Mrs. Florencia from Philippine, she is an English professor, she’s so motherly, kind and always make me feel comfortable each time we talked. She’s really look like my mother. She gave me a lot of advice that makes me feel more relaxed when I’m about to present my paper. Here are some of her advices:

Mrs. Florencia and I

“You don’t really need to feel nervous. This is your work, you’re really good at it. Nobody else in this room knows your paper more than you do. So don’t be nervous. Stay calm and confident. I believe you’ll do it with a flying color. You’re very charming, they’ll pay attention when you present your paper.”

Flying color!! It’s been a long time since I heard that! And that really is calming! And even more was because she said that I was charming (hehehe :P). And here are other advices.

Perfect Background

“why are Indonesian people mostly presenting their paper in the left or right side? Not in the middle?” and I said “probably because we’re lack of confidence, or maybe it just our tradition—I mean bad tradition—we used to do it since childhood. Me too..”

“Well I hope when you’re presenting your paper you’ll stand up in the middle. Because everyone will pay attention to you. That’s what you’re not gonna get when you stand there (pointing the right side of the stage). Beside, your picture will be perfect with that background.” 

“In Philippine we used to provide a podium in the middle of the stage for the presenter. There's a podium, but I haven't see someone use it yet.”

That was the most “booster-ing” my confidence. And thanks God, Alhamdulillah, I can made it with a flying color!! 

Batik-ing in Madura Island
(How to rotate the picture???)

Long story isn’t it? Sorry, hehehe..

Ok for the second conference, I’ll try my best to shorten it. The second conference was held in Vietnam. Organized by HCMUT (Ho Chi Minh City University of Technology). It was also went very very very well! I felt really happy to know my paper was accepted in this conference. Many lecturer and ITB students join this conference. In this conference I was present a paper which still discuss about my final project, but from the routing problem point of view. Oh! And before I went to Vietnam, I learn some of common Vietnam language from my Vietnamese friend (cảm ơn anh Thuong!!). I also met some Vietnamese students. They’re very friendly and hospitable, just as those who study with me in Indonesia. :) And of course, the most excited part from that two conferences is the free time part! I’d bet you’ll prefer to see the picture than read my writings, so here they are… 

Conference Participants

Dr. Hisar M.P (my supervisor) and I

Walk the Night Out

:)

My Daily Activities as a Grad-Student

This semester I took 15 credits, and 6 of them is my theses credits. So the other 9 are divided into 3 subjects, which are:

Aircraft Certification and Airworthiness (Tuesday 7.30-10.00 a.m)

Safety Engineering System  (Monday 1-3 p.m. and Tuesday 10.00-11.00 a.m.)

Flight Test Technique (Monday and Thursday 7.30-9.00 a.m.)

So we can say that I have plenty "free" hour that should spent on doing my theses. Mostly, I went to my lab after that class schedule. And guess what do I usually do (I hope my advisor never find this blog)?? I turned on the computer. Click mozilla icon on the desktop, and then click gmail icon on the bookmark tabs (as if I got so many e-mail to read, :p) and find out there is no new e-mail--as usual. And click on the other bookmark icon, you know what it is, don't you?? And then I felt guilty, close it again and go back to the desktop and click the Matlab icon. But then I usually thought why should I felt guilty just because I opened the facebook? I think it already become a habbit for most of people isn't it? But I still can't escape from that guilty feeling and try to focus on the Matlab. 

Then, I turned the music on and set the maximum volume because all I have is only headset. Hung it on my neck, only if there is just me in the lab. If mas Yoga or Seno (my lab partner) came, I used the headset on my ear with the acceptable volume of course. I think the percentage of me doing the theses and the other activity is just 40-60%. I just browsing internet, looked back to  my Matlab, and then browsing again and sometimes my friends came and ask me about Matlab things (Actually I'm not that good in Matlab, but I just try to help them. Sometimes they figure their problem out by themselves, all I do is just sit and watch them. And give some comments). And guess what?? I found this funny comic that really-really similar with me!! Pretend to be looked like I'm busy, hehehe...

How to look busy part 1

And you can also pretend to be busy when you're not there!!

How to look busy part 2

I hope this comics can somehow help you! hehehe... :p

You should also see this one! This is my favorite one, because it just so me!!! :D

Denial

I think enough for today. See you again when I'm bored... :*